Although it is inevitable that we should have feelings of blame and guilt his act of desperation does not diminish the moments of delight, love and friendship he experienced in his life and it is these we should remember. Our dearest hope is that all who knew Xolani will eventually be able to accept it was his choice and be able to find their own peace.
After we released the sky lanterns Jean read the following passage from Beside the Ocean of Time by George Mackay Brown:
‘We bare our heavy burdens for a while then death unloads us… It is meaningless unless we predicate another self, a real self, a soul, that is seeking life-long for a true treasure, the grail… The trouble is this pilgrim is hidden most of the time, only glimpsed now and again at moments of great distress or joy.
The body laments, the body dance; from somewhere deep within, in the heart’s heart, or from beyond the furthest star, the good angel, the guardian, is playing his pipe. The music goes on and on, unheard for the most part. Through this lifetime of vanity we creep, stumble, march, follow plough and sythe, linger, hirple on a stick, until at last the feet are folded and lie still: but, seen through the angel’s eye, it is an immortal spirit that dances from birth to death, all the way, from before the beginning until after the end.
Every dance, every lifetime is unique, and that infinity of dances from every race and from every era is of incalculable value, and comprehends the great ceremonial dance of manhood. But the music will not be known in all is glory until it is rounded in silence. So it had been thought by some, and so I in part believe, on those rare occasions when the burden of mystery is lifted for a little while’.
Jane then said the Kaddish, the Jewish prayer for those in mourning, to pay respect to Xolani. After which Anna, Eddie, Emma and Fiona led us in Lilizela, an African song.
Hamba Kahle Xolani
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| Sky lanterns released on Portobello beach in memory of Xolani |
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